As a certified mediator for over 25 years and a divorce attorney and litigator for over 30 years, I know the benefits of mediation. I have served as a mediator for numerous couples over the years. I think, however, the concept of mediation needs to be broadened further. Mediation can again be used by these very couples or others who, after their divorce, have an issue that arises. A time to return to mediation is best before either party hires an attorney or files in court.

            Mediation is not just a sometime thing. You can return to mediation anytime the need arises. For example, if your parenting agreement is no longer working because of scheduling changes or other issues, and you want to make changes, a mediator may be of assistance. It could be that someone is relocating or is beginning another job, and their schedule has changed. It may be a time for child support to be recalculated. A child may be entering college, or you may be considering private grammar school or high school. Perhaps there is a problem with selling the home, or you wish to do a buyout. There may be questions or info needed for retirement entitlements you are to receive as per the terms of the agreement. A Domestic relations Order or a QUADRO may need to be prepared to receive your share of a pension, annuity, or deferred compensation and additional language is required in the mediation agreement to conform to the plan rules. These are all issues that can be successfully dealt with in mediation.

            Moreover, a mediator can assist with enforcement issues, such as monies due for copayments, expenses, etc. Most agreements require proof of payments and bills to receive reimbursement. I have sat with clients in mediation and we review and organize the accounting so we agree on a number that may be owed. Just getting the right information and having both parties together is a key element of resolving any case and that is why mediation is so effective. Decisions on extracurricular activities or schooling or camp can also be handled in a mediation.

            In my mediation agreements, after consulting with the couple, I often add that the parties will return to mediation before filing an application in court. This provisions in an agreement is enforceable.  The courts will demand a return to mediation rather than entertaining an application before mediation was first sought. If mediation worked once, it can work again.  

Whenever a mediation client sends an email or calls about a post-divorce issue, I suggest to both clients that they set up a session to discuss whatever has come up. As a mediator, I cannot give either of them advice or discuss anything without the other being present, either virtually, in person, or by phone.

            Mediation, the way it is meant to be, creates a relationship between the mediator, yourself and your ex.  It is a circle of trust, understanding, and problem-solving. It is the way to resolution. A circle that you can reenter at any time. You will be glad you did.