There have been numerous studies by psychologists over the past 35 years regarding divorced children and the impact of custody, joint custody and shared parenting agreements.    As research the continued, there were different findings at different times.  There was a study conducted in 2007 which found that the importance of a child’s adjustment depended on their contact with their father.  This prompted the courts and many family practitioners over the years to begin a paradigm shift to joint custody and a push for shared parenting. There is a difference between joint legal custody and shared parenting.  Shared parenting is usually a 50/50 custody split or close to it.   Parents may have joint legal custody (which may be different from shared parenting) where there is equal access to all health related, school, extra -curricular, records and there is joint decision making, but the time that is spent may be less than a 50/50 split.

 When psychologists study the impact of shared parenting, they use a 70 percent rule.  What this means is that if one parent has70 percent more of the time, that’s not considered a shared parenting plan.  If both parents have an equal percentage of time or close to it, such as a 60/40 split or a 45/55 split, that would be considered more of a shared parenting.     Legally, shared parenting usually means 50/50 and joint legal custody is given. Joint legal custody does not depend on one parent having a particular amount of time.

 Another study conducted in 1977, found that those children that were living in a shared parenting arrangement had more of a chance of the residential custody or plan changing in the future. However, in 2008 another study, of shared parenting arrangements, as compared to those in sole maternal custody, concluded that residential stability was the same for shared parenting as well as sole maternal custody groups.

 Finally, a study in 2010 stated that the failure of any type of shared parenting and joint custody had deleterious effects and impacted children negatively ONLY when there was high conflict.  Conflict, inability to communicate, and lack of forgiveness is the death knell for any co-parenting, shared custody, joint custody, and joint decision- making agreements.  So, what does this mean for attorneys, judges, and for you?  Attorneys need to counsel clients that while the ideal may be co-parenting and shared parenting (to whatever extent that can be), is not necessarily a 50/50.  Moreover, the courts, attorneys and the parties must look at the totality of circumstances in each and every case. There is no cookie cutter formula. 

            What should be considered is as follows:  What is the conflict like between the parents?  How can that be improved?  Are they willing to get the support from a parent coordinator, mediator or therapist to address conflict and communication?  What is the actual situation in this family, such as what is the availability of each parent?  What is the quality time available for each parent?  What are each parents work schedules? Is either party retired or full time homemaker?  What is the distance between the homes where both parents reside?  Who has more flexibility in their job schedule?  Who has additional support from grandparents, extended family or childcare?  Who can best do drop-offs and pick-ups for school, medical appointments, extracurricular activities, et cetera?    These factors have become especially relevant during the lockdown and COVID. Many families had to adjust to accommodate remote learning, quarantining and sick children. 

Custody and parenting agreements are fluid.  They change constantly, and they change with the times.  There needs to be a sense of reality as well as an understanding and focus to put the children first to ensure that they are getting what they need to become stable, well-adjusted, successful adults.  This is my goal at the DePalo Law Firm, as an attorney litigator as well as a parent coordinator, collaborative attorney, and mediator.  Think of cookie cutters and baking- cookie cutters are for cookies.  Don’t fall into a cookie cutter parenting agreement; but take the time, energy, and choose the right attorney to counsel you as to what your options are and what will work best for you and your children.