Having been an attorney representing many estates as well as serving as an executrix for a number of my clients as well as my own family, I wanted to share  my experience of a recent estate sale I held on behalf of my deceased client.  Henrietta was 92 years old when she passed. When I had met her a few years back to finalize an estate plan, which included the will, power of attorney, and health care proxy, I gave her instructions on how to best prepare for her death. I was named her executrix. She had never married or had children and she was a businesswoman who was very independent, perhaps too independent. She was fascinating and had lived a full life.

 I asked her to please make sure that she had a list of all her contacts, assets, and debts. I also advised her to make use of the power of attorney so that if something happened to her someone else could take over the payment of her bills and daily affairs. I had also suggested that she put someone’s name on at least her checking account so that bills could be paid. She had very good neighbors and close friends who were very devoted to her.  She promised she would put everything in order and she did prearrange her funeral, which was a blessing and made things much easier for me and her family.

Henrietta and I discussed discarding anything she no longer needed. I advised to begin giving away any jewelry, momentos, and personal items she might want friends and family to have. Age, illness, and the passage of time forced her to move downstairs and much of the furniture was removed. However, she had not given away or gotten rid of any personal items. I asked her family if anyone wanted anything. Most of her family had moved away and either they were unable to take anything or they did not want it.

I felt very sad that her personal treasures – from her travels, her family heirlooms, paintings, jewelry and knick knacks, were put in front of her home on for sale. Most of the items did not sell and now have to be to be discarded. If you or someone close to you is either ill or elderly here are some useful tips on how best on how best to handle this predicament so that this does not happen to you or your family.

1) Simplicity – go through your home room by room. Is there anything you do not use or do not need?  If so give it away, discard it or sell it.

        2) Family heirlooms and momentos –Give them to your children, grandchildren, friends and share the stories of your family history, and traditions. If anything is from a vacation or trip tell them about what you bought, sharing the culture and experience with them.  Was anything passed down from generation to generation? These are precious and should be shared.

          3) Jewelry – Make gifts of jewelry to your family and friends. You will be able to experience their love, surprise, and appreciation.  Have the joy of seeing them wear it and know that they will have something to remember you by.

         4) Donate- Saint Ambrose said, “If you have two shirts in your closet one belongs to you and the other to the man with no shirt.”  As we age we do not need as many clothes, shoes, coats, handbags, etc. You may have a wardrobe of clothes that are a different size and you are holding on to them just in case you gain or lose weight. Get rid of them.

           5) Furniture – No one wants used furniture and it is very hard to sell unless it is a true antique or relatively new and of a very good quality. It is also difficult to move and discard.

After you purge, clean out, and organize, you will experience a feeling of relief and lightness. You will be saving your children, friends and family the pain of having not only to go through your personal items but discarding memories of you. This is very difficult and heartbreaking.  A full house to clear out after someone’s demise is overwhelming, sad, and backbreaking. This is not the memories or legacy you wish to leave your loved ones