I recently had a very encouraging exchange with a parent coordinator and collaborative professional in New York City named Randy Heller. We are working on a case together and we are using her services as a parent coordinator to help navigate and effectuate a joint legal custody arrangement for two parents with very young children.  It has been an absolute pleasure dealing with the opposing attorney who happens to be from Manhattan who’s also collaboratively trained. Even though this is a litigated case we have employed our skills as collaborative attorneys to effectuate joint legal custody and create a parenting plan that works for our clients.   We are drafting a very thorough parenting agreement whereby we are employing certain supports so that our clients will have success. As one of the matrimonial and the only IDV Judge in Richmond County, Judge Domenico, often says, “We do not want to set a parent up for failure.”   In speaking with Randy I told her how refreshing it was to deal with a case where joint custody was not challenged or thought of as an exception to the general rule.  She spontaneously replied with a laugh, “Where are you in the dark ages?!”.

It really got me to thinking about the state of the matrimonial bar and how frustrating it is when attorneys do not see the importance of coparenting, nor are they familiar with how the law is embracing this ideal. Attorneys, as counselors at law, are to ensure clients and their children have a relationship with each other. 

Now be that as it may, joint legal custody and or shared parenting plans is usually not appropriate in cases where there is mental health issues, addiction issues or domestic violence.  These problematic cases are not the majority of our cases.  The research is clear; the law is clear and the trend is also clear – the law, mental health professionals, and society all support coparenting when appropriate. The analysis should be done on a case- by- case basis.

If you are in a litigation or in a situation where you are requesting joint legal custody, even if you cannot accommodate equal time because of job constraints or other situations such as traveling for work, not having family support to be able to provide care when you are employed or if you have a job that requires night shifts or rotating hours, you can still coparent and make decisions together and have access to all records and information regarding your child., You should  have as much time as possible to spend with your children. We at the DePalo Law Firm support our clients in achieving this goal.

You can obtain the support you need as a parent to make sure that you are in your child’s life and that you participate in raising your child with your ex-spouse.  It should be a joint effort whether you are a mother or a father.  There are cases where the custodial parent is overwhelmed, and the non-custodial parent does not help and offer support. This should not be. Raising a child is a two- parent job.    It’s time that we get out of the dark ages and into the light by encouraging parents to have a stable, loving, supportive relationship with their children even after separation and divorce.