Last week was a tough week. I was feeling discouraged and very tired. I had planned to have dinner and drinks with a dear colleague of mine whom I had not seen for a while. I was looking forward to it. We are very similar as to how diligently we work and how we approach cases. She is very no nonsense, as am I. I always admired her. She has built up a well-respected and successful matrimonial firm in Brooklyn. We spoke about Covid and how it had affected us personally, as well as professionally. We discussed the changes we see in the law procedure, as a result of Covid, and how not being able to go to court and have “contact” with clients, judges and opposing counsel, has had a deleterious effect on our cases and clients. The nature of family law cases needs a certain amount of intimacy and human contact.

We shared war stories and I told her how dedicated I am to dispute alternative dispute resolution – mediation, collaborative divorce, and cooperative divorce. She listened attentively and offered encouragement saying it seems to be the wave of the future. I was validated and vindicated by the career path I had chosen. I was encouraged and strengthened and felt a connection. We talked about how we still feel for our clients and are passionate when we see a case take a downturn. I could relate when she said, “I have gotten to the point that now even though I still get upset over an injustice or  unfairness in a case by a Judge or by an adversaries’ actions, instead of continuing the fight I now spend my time trying to fix it. “

I cried out emphatically, “Yes! Finding solutions and problem solving is my focus too! It is one of the reasons I do mediation and collaborative.”  I realized I was not alone and I felt understood. We both agreed the lawyering, the wisdom, and experience we have achieved over 30 plus years is now best directed to fixing, helping, directing, and interceding to obtain an interim solution or resolution. A resolution that is just – not one that destroys families, children, finances and society.

The time I spent with her renewed my desire to keep fighting, to keep helping, and to keep caring. I will continue to educate, share, and offer mediation, collaborative divorce, legal coaching, and cooperative divorce in my practice. Solution oriented law is the key to the future of family law. I am so fortunate to be in a position to help, to build, and share, and to have a friend and colleague like her. She has devoted her life to family law, the bar, her clients, the law, and her colleagues, and we are all the better for it.