[separator style_type=”none” top_margin=”” bottom_margin=”” sep_color=”” border_size=”” icon=”” icon_circle=”” icon_circle_color=”” width=”” alignment=”” class=”” id=””][fullwidth background_color=”” background_image=”” background_parallax=”none” enable_mobile=”no” parallax_speed=”0.3″ background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” video_url=”” video_aspect_ratio=”16:9″ video_webm=”” video_mp4=”” video_ogv=”” video_preview_image=”” overlay_color=”” overlay_opacity=”0.5″ video_mute=”yes” video_loop=”yes” fade=”no” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding_top=”20″ padding_bottom=”20″ padding_left=”” padding_right=”” hundred_percent=”no” equal_height_columns=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” menu_anchor=”” class=”” id=””][two_third last=”no” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”#ffffff” background_image=”” background_repeat=”repeat” background_position=”left top” hover_type=”none” link=”” border_position=”all” border_size=”1px” border_color=”#049e91″ border_style=”solid” padding=”5px” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”0″ animation_direction=”down” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”” id=””]

Last month, we discussed the fact that becoming deeply mired in negative emotion and acting from a place inspired by that negative emotion can harm your divorce process. If you can envision the ways you might react to efforts at compromise during a divorce mediation session while fueled by negative emotion versus a desire to build a healthy future, you can probably understand why it is so important to process your negative emotions in healthy ways during your divorce process.

But how can you keep your negative emotions in check when it is both normal and healthy to experience negative emotions in the wake of a decision to divorce? Your anger, grief, confusion and frustration should be felt and processed. However, it is important to engage in this processing in ways that do not compromise your ability to move forward in your life as a healthy and financially stable individual.

Everyone needs different outlets and tools in order to “stay sane” during this period of upheaval and transition. Keeping a few tips in mind may help you to discover what you need in order to achieve this goal.

First, it is critical that you keep your goal of a healthy, happy future in mind as you react to your spouse and approach your divorce process generally. You may not be able to yet envision what this future looks like or how to achieve it, but keeping that goal in mind may help you to react in healthier ways when confronted by potentially destructive negative emotions and gut reactions.

Second, strive to maintain dignity and self-respect during this process. Screaming at your spouse during a negotiation session may feel great in the moment. But if such actions compromise your dignity and self-respect, are they really worth a momentary high?

There is no doubt that divorce pain is real, but hopefully with these tips you can maintain a more level head during the process.

Source: The Huffington Post, “The 5 Musts of a Sane Divorce,” Abby Rodman, Aug. 23, 2014

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